so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
