Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
