am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
did i walk over a car last night?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
