She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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