i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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