i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
