My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize