She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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