is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
