considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
