Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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