you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize