Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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