To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
