where am i from again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
