I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
