i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
