Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize