your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
