I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
