So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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