you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize