Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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