I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i came on her dog
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
