I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
