There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize