I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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