you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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