Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
