Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
