Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
