Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you had me at cake vodka
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
