I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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