Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
