Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
