dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
