it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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