do herpes really smell.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
