He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
