I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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