i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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