I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
