If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
