I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
