I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My first STD was from a foam party
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
