I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
