was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
