wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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