David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
