I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
