why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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