do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
