I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
