I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
