Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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