Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
