life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
vagina is talking i cant
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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