How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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