he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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