you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize