break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
