Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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