do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
