She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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