I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think my moral compass just broke
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
