took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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