Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
