i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
