I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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