would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
