dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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