Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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