meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
