glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Randomize
