So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
