playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
